I've always wanted children of my own. Everybody who knows me knows this about me. Don't get me wrong, I love other people's children too - I can give them back at the end of the night or whenever. I've grown up around children and having children be attracted to me like bees to honey. I've tried to get rid of them, but they always seem to find me. I don't mind, really. Sometimes children are more whiny than I'd like but mostly I find them more honest and open about things and they force me to be more open and honest about myself. My first night in the hospital, after Jason went home to bed (Irony at it's best... I've delivered a baby after being awake for 40 hours and who gets to go home to sleep? - I find it ironic but I don't feel bitter. I understand why and I think that was one of my first lessons as a mother and a wife. Sacrifice.) I remember sitting holding Elizabeth and wondering, so who do I call to take her away when I want to sleep? To be quite honest, I still haven't figured that one out. Though, as many Mom's have told me, sleep when the baby sleeps. It's so true. Maybe I should be sleeping right now... Elizabeth is passed out on my lap.One thing (out of many!) that I wasn't prepared for as a parent is that it seems to have given everyone else a license to tell you what and how you should do things with your child. Regardless if they have ever had children or not. and whether they know you from a hole in the ground. (I don't mind advice from those I know, I just prefer that perfect strangers didn't tell me that they think I'm not doing well) I acknowledge that I am not perfect and therefore I will not be a perfect parent. I am going to try my best though and I pray to God to watch over my baby and to keep her safe. I may not be perfect but I can put her in the hands of the One who is. I hope that doesn't sound cliché because I don't mean it that way.
Elizabeth is learning cause and effect lately, aside from biting me she has learned a wide variety of new things everyday. Like for example, she throws a toy on the ground, I pick it up, she grabs for it, shakes it a few times and throws it back on the ground, I pick it up, etc... You get the idea, you've probably seen babies do this before. Ah, that poor sucker of a parent fell for it again. Truly my baby is an evil genius whose plot is to have me wrapped around her finger. I am, but I was from the moment I knew I was pregnant - I was already wrapped around her finger. I don't mind picking up the toys she throws - it gives me a chance to slow down, count my blessings and be thankful for this precious gift that I have. We may have our bad days and the road could get a little bumpy along the way but I'm glad to be blessed with this new title of Mother and will try to take the good with the bad.
Above Photo by: Robert Orr Photography